If You Play With Fire - Expect to Get Burned!

Remember when you were a child and your mom told you not to touch the stove because you would get burned?

Then... all day long, all you wanted to do was touch the stove- just to test her theory.

JACKIE

Slowly, your little fingers would guide themselves toward the burner as you gently reached up for just a quick little touch. Within moments... "OUCH!" - you burned your finger!

People in relationships seem to play with a lot of fire these days and then wonder why they end up getting burned.

In case you need someone to point out the obvious, here are some of the top red flag warning signs that should send you running the other direction while dating.

Your Date Has A Mate

Although not as high of a number as many people are inclined to believe, about 20% of married men and 15% of married women are out dating other people. I have heard every excuse in the book as to why... "They are together for the children." "They have an open marriage." "They are getting a divorce." "They aren't happily married."

None of these excuses are reason enough to believe that dating a married person will do anything but bring pain in the long run. The bottom line is that when your mate is married, they are unavailable to you- mentally, physically and spiritually.

Your date has been divorced for less than one full year. (Not separated, divorced!)

I am a true believer that if we don't take time to learn from our past, we'll carry our mistakes into the future. No one gets married expecting to get a divorce. Divorce is a loss of our hopes, dreams and expectations for our lives. It is impossible to go through a divorce and not be affected by the outcome. They say that time heals all wounds and if you don't take the time necessary to learn, heal and grow from a failed relationship- your chances of another failed relationship is that much higher. If you love your newly divorced or separated partner, let them go... for at least a year, this way there will be an opportunity for them to return to you in a much healthier place.

Your date has an ex-spouse or children than you can't stand

When you enter into a relationship with someone, you are entering into it with them and everyone that directly affects their lives. You need to understand this because that fact does not change! If you can't accept the important people in the life of the one you love, the relationship is headed for disaster. Run while you can because the baggage is permanent!

Your date has anger management problems

Want to test this theory? Take a drive with your significant other during rush hour in a busy city. Road rage directed at strangers can often signify that your loved one has a difficult time managing his/her stress level and could indicate temper tantrums down the road.

Obviously, if you also begin to notice over time that your loved one becomes physically or verbally abusive run, do not walk...away from the relationship.

Your date says he loves you after two dates...

Although that those three little words are sure nice to hear... if your date says them a little too soon, they probably are "in lust" rather than love. Someone who states that they love you before they have had a chance to get to know you doesn't have a true concept about what love really is.

Love is not a feeling. It is an emotion that is based on sincerity and trust. These two values can only develop over time. Run away from someone madly in love... in minutes!

There are many singles so eager to be in a relationship that they will ignore the obvious trouble approaching just for the sake of not being alone.

I must admit, when I was single, I too ignored some red flags. Dating men who were unavailable or who offered promises of a more improved man in just a few weeks. Then I found myself waiting the few weeks, being supportive, loving, trying to be helpful and then realizing, in the end... that it was a sheer waste of my time, effort and energy.

After an encounter like this, I say to myself, "I should have known better. Next time I will."

I know it's easier said than done, but singles need to remember that it is better to be alone than to be in a relationship with someone that ultimately is the wrong person for you. If you notice that you are compromising your own value systems just for the sake of not being alone, run from this relationship, do not walk, do not pass go and forget about collecting the 0 bucks.

The lessons your mother taught you apply to your dating life, "Don't play with fire... you'll end up getting burned!"

Save the aloe vera for your skin, don't waste it on your heart!

If You Play With Fire - Expect to Get Burned!

JACKIE