People often think that being a clever conversationalist means that you always have something witty to say and can talk nonstop. Not much is farther from the truth.
Being a good conversationalist has everything to do with being a good listener.
NURSE JACKIE
The best way to keep the conversation interesting is to hone your attention completely on the person you are speaking to. Focus your laser gaze on the person you are speaking with to the exclusion of everyone else in the room.
The way to be the best conversationalist is to draw out the person you are speaking to so they can talk and you can listen. This involves asking questions and then thoughtfully listening to their responses. Their responses may spark more questions on your part, but don't make the other person uncomfortable with a series of questions.
Nobody wants to feel the pressure of a string of questions grilling them and forcing them alone to talk. It is not an interrogation; it needs to be a dialogue, not a monologue on either part.
A few ways to become an interesting conversationalist also involve being an interesting person. This means reading at least three to five news articles a day and at least one book a week. Keep abreast of current events so you have something interesting to say during a conversation.
Famous beautiful women like Jackie O and Sophia Loren have both said they have thought about interesting subjects to introduce as conversation openers before they have a meeting with others or a dinner party.
This is not contrived, it just makes sense. Maybe you want to discuss the latest book you read or the no. 1 box office film that weekend or the ongoing war in Iraq or even the best way to shop for the holidays. Whatever it is, it is OK to think about a few subjects before you get around others.
If you sense there is no interest in this topic, you can always switch gears and speak about something else. But always have something interesting to talk about that is not you.
What do I mean?
The most boring conversationalist is someone who speaks about themselves. What they did that day, what they think about this, blah, blah, blah.
Turn it around and instead of talking about how cool you are to attend the latest art opening at MOMA, talk about how intriguing the new French impressionist exhibition is and which ones you like and why. Or you can talk about this fabulous new Cuban food restaurant you tried the other night and describe the food and ambience and what makes it so great.
One important thing to remember is what you talk about needs to be true. You need to be honest and real about your impressions. Don't be pretentious in the hopes of impressing people. Maybe what you really want to talk about is how great the New York Giants played the night before and what incredible energy there was at the bar where you watched the game. That's fine. It is all about being honest and interesting.
But remember, the number one, absolutely most important thing to remember in being a great conversationalist is to talk about anything EXCEPT you.
Keep a Conversation Interesting NURSE JACKIE
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